I am Hallway and welcome to my Universe. It’s a tiny universe, but it’s mine, just the same. I guess I should start by introducing myself. At the time of writing this, I am 43 years old. I take care of two cats, Nori and Meatball. I also take care of my best friend as their caregiver. I have a job that I spend most of my time doing. It is nice and not soul crushing. It wouldn’t have been my first choice when I was a kid, but being a kid is so far away from where I am now. I’m pretty far from where I thought I would be and each day I try to do a little bit to feel like I’m in the right place.
Most of my life, I’ve felt out of place. Like I wasn’t good enough, or that I was an other. Maybe it was because of how weird I naturally was. But honestly, aren’t we all weird? I certainly am. I have faced adversity but most of my battles have been my own doing with mental health.
I’m stable now. So much that it feels like maybe I was never sick and I was just acting up. It doesn’t feel real sometimes to play back the things I’ve done and said when I was out of my mind. It wasn’t all the time, but when it mattered, I didn’t quite make it.
I tried again and I try again now. Although, this time, I’ve decided not to be as hard on myself. I am learning how to trust myself, to love myself, to appreciate my differences and my shortcomings. To be whole. That maybe the true core of myself wasn’t rotten and never needed correcting in the first place.
Maybe I’ve always been and continue to be, out of place and in the right place.
I’m not sure what I’ll write on this site, but I wanted to write something down before it’s all gone again. I hope I’ll enjoy it enough for you to as well.